My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
