this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
