it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
