There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
