just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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