isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
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Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
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I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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