After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
