I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize