I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
