I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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