yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
