Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
A bitchslap is in order.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
