Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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