Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
