Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Terrible idea I love it
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
