i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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