So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
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Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
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Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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