omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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