So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I don't deserve a penis
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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