Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
