just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
