She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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