if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
