I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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