WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
