what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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