i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
