my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
This house was built for laser tag.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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