so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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