I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
