I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
