Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
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And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
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I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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