if you like me you must not know who I am
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
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