What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize