how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Too much gin, very little bucket
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
