Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
