ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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