Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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