And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
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She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
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Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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