is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
