Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
