Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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