Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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