I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
