covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You left your phone here
Wait...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
