Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
