Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
