and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
