a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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