You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
