wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize