ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
