Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
